news in Provo

To: Edgy
From: Absent-minded Secretary
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 10:02 AM
Subject: Article from deseretnews.com

Absent-minded Secretary thought you might be interested in reading the following story, which appeared on deseretnews.com on Wednesday, December 7, 2005.

APOSTROPHE CATASTROPHE! PUNCTUATION'S SUFFERING
"Its time for Winter! Come see our Sale's!" Look a little odd? It should. While many of us feel confident in our ability to speak correctly and communicate effectively, sometimes our punctuation gets left behind--especially, it seems, on holiday-season signs. FULL STORY

To: Absent-minded Secretary
From: Edgy
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 11:26 AM
Subject: Re: Article from deseretnews.com

Thanks for the article. Though, truth be told, I'm trying to figure out why this is even news.


To: Edgy
From: Absent-minded Secretary
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 02:48 PM
Subject: Article from deseretnews.com

So, after thinking during my Diet Coke lunch-break, there are a few things about that article that make it news.

1. It was printed in the Utah County Section of the paper, so we have to wonder why it's being targeted to Utah County residents. (Perhaps you can already guess?)
   
   1. It's news to Utah County residents that there are people in this county without perfect grammar and punctuation. This fact might lead some people to believe that there are imperfections all around them. This might lead to the complete dissolution of some belief systems. This reporter is creating a situation which will, in the future, be news.
      
   2. The reporter has been so annoyed with being assigned the Utah County beat that she is sending a "secret" message to her editors that there are no stories in Utah County.
      
   3. Utah County residents just might believe that if they write it on paper a certain way that makes it right and there is not a formal structure for grammar and punctuation. Therefore, the knowledge that there are rules to apostrophes would be news to them.
   
   
2. "While many of us feel confident in our ability to speak correctly and communicate effectively, sometimes our punctuation gets left behind--especially, it seems, on holiday-season signs."
   
   1. Apparently, punctuation gets worse on holidays. (Have you and your co-editors noticed this?) Maybe too much Egg Nog?
      
   2. According to the reporter, signs are the worst abuses of punctuation in the English language. Apparently she has never read the Daily Universe.
   
   
3. But should there be separate rules for "signage grammar"? "It's pretty hard to have 'bad' grammar on signs." Is she trying to promote a new style guide for signage grammar? She must have a new publication in the works--Webster's Universal Sign Language Dictionary :) --and is trying to drum up community interest in grammar to increase sales.
   
4. Back to the quote: "While many of us feel confident in our ability to speak correctly and communicate effectively..." She should have ended this sentence with "most of us don't know how close to death we have been while in the presence of a grammar-lover." Speaking and writing incorrectly in front of the wrong person can be a death-defying act. Perhaps she is creating awareness so there are fewer grammar related homicides out there in the future.