love spell

Dear Reader,

I feel it is my duty to advise you not to purchase Victoria Secret's Love Spell. After relating the last evening's events, I'm sure you will understand and fully agree.

Last night began innocently enough. Sir Robert came over around 7ish to watch the Oscars, seeing as how he hadn't yet seen them. A short while later, we were visited by Gladys and She Who Previously Must Not Be Named for Having Wilfully Skipped Twelfth Night but in Consideration of Recent Events May Now Be Named and Welcomed with Open Arms Back into the Herd as they were crashing random parties. (Who knew that Sir Robert and I were having a party? I didn't.) Everyone was giving Puppy proper love and adoration.

However, last night, Puppy only had eyes for Eleka. Yes, she was very much into Eleka. Scarily into Eleka.

Remember how Puppy is kinda sorta the dominant one? And remember the little debate we had as to which team she plays for?

Apparently the team she plays for is for Eleka (but not Eleka's team, mind you), and apparently Eleka is the submissive on said team. The first time Puppy demonstrated this, it was rather shocking; the second time, it was rather amusing; but the third time, it was rather embarassing, and I had to send her outside to chase and bark after bikes. (Puppy, not Eleka.)

Not that Sir Robert helped. No, Sir Robert goaded Puppy on.

So the moral of the story is not to wear Love Spell. You will not attract men.

Because it obviously has dog pheromones in it.