the scariest place on earth

Apparently, this weekend, it's the South Towne Expo Center.

What event could possibly be so scary? you ask. Why none other than the Original Scrapbook USA Expo.

Now, let me preface this post with the wheretofore I ended up at the Scariest Place on Earth. I was sitting at home, engaging in e-mail correspondence and blog commenting, when I got a phone call from the Momma. She mentioned that she and Auntie were eating at Mimi's and were then going to the scrapbooking expo. She invited me along. If you think about it, do you really think I'm going to pass up a free meal at Mimi's (a.k.a. Heaven on Earth)? I don't think so. Plus, considering the current state of affairs at home, it was rather nice to get out of the house.

So, after dinner we trek on over to the expo center. Please bear in mind that I am no stranger to expos and tradeshows of all sorts. I love me a good expo and tradeshow. In fact, I've been to a couple already this year, and we're only in April.

But nothing I have ever been to could possibly prepare me for tonight's event.

Upon walking into the expo (at around 9:00, which should have been my first tipoff to the oddity of the event), I was not greeted by the rows of vendor booths that are ever present. No . . . the vendors only surround the perimeter of the tradeshow. The entire center is laid out with tables and folding chairs. And those chairs are filled with women (because I only saw one man in all the expanse of tables) who are scrapbooking. It truly is a sight. And these women have been there all day. I repeat, All. Day. Long. They come in groups, and someone in those groups is responsible for showing up very first thing and claiming a table for the group. And the group will guard and defend that table until midnight, when they will be forced to abandon their post. But do not fear, as they will be back again bright and early tomorrow morning.

This in and of itself does not merit the label Scariest Place on Earth. We must add layer two. Some of these groups of women come in matching outfits. One group had identical plaid, flannel pajama pants and bright yellow T-shirts that they'd had silkscreened, declaring the joy and love that is scrapbooking.

However, the one little bit that clinches the status of Scariest Place on Earth is layer three. The Chicken Dance. That's right, shortly after I arrived (within minutes, even), the DJ started playing the Chicken Dance. So in the middle of the room, surrounding the DJ's stand, you have this group of girls and women who are all joining in and dancing the Chicken Dance. But it's not just them. Oh, no. Women throughout the pavilion are setting aside their scrapbooking, rising from their chairs, and dancing the Chicken Dance. And this is part of the tradition of the scrapbooking expo.

That is why the South Towne Expo Center is currently the Scariest Place on Earth.


MikeyV said...

Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about selling our Utah vacation home. I feel pretty justified at the moment. Where's that 'mission accomplished' banner when you need it?

Absent-minded Secretary said...

You know what's scarier? I could have had a reserved spot at that Expo. And now I am so happy that I decided to stand firm in my anti-scrapbooking beliefs rather than succumbing to my desire to be nice to my family.