Sometimes, it is completely worth it to attend a party where you don't know anyone and are clearly the oldest person there. Because it means you get to watch other peoples' drama unfold.

For example.

Last night, following the True Colors concert (which was absolutely enjoyable and which I will, in theoy, blog about later though it's highly likely that I won't because I just won't get around to it, although I really should since I have now found this week's celebrity crush), Tall Drink (previously referred to as Guy I Haven’t Ever Given a Nickname to Yet Feel Obligated Not to Disclose His True Identity and as Mutual Friend, but we're all thinking he needs to have his own real blogonym and so I'll try this one on for size) and I picked up Gladys and headed to a birthday party that Tall Drink was invited to by Wine & Dine.

After much telephoning and dead phonage, we finally arrive at the party. Tall Drink attempts—unsuccessfully—to avoid Awkward History. Mingle mingle mingle. Gladys and I inadvertently get involved in a conversation with Absurdly Drunk Girl who is livid that he is not wearing an Erase Hate bracelet. Yada yada yada. The three of us end up talking to Down Under, who appears to be the only normal person at the party.

And . . . Cue drama.

We look over and happen to notice that Birthday Boy is crying. We don't know what's going on, but we choose to ignore it. Until Absurdly Drunk Girl demands that Down Under come over and talk to her. We don't go over, because, well, we'd already given praises to all the Powers That Be that we had managed to stop talking to her a half hour previously. However, that doesn't stop us from overhearing her berate Down Under for some offense he has obviously given Birthday Boy. Because, according to Absurdly Drunk Girl, he was Birthday Boy's date for the evening. He denied this and tried to talk sense into her, pointing out that he and Birthday Boy were no longer dating and hadn't been dating for a few weeks now, all to no avail.

At this point, we decide it was time for us to go. Primarily because it's insanely late. As Tall Drink goes to say good-bye to Wine & Dine, he walks in on Birthday Boy giving a drunken smackdown to Wine & Dine and Awkward History. Who both happen to be Birthday Boy's ex-boyfriends. And who have apparently recently dated/slept together/committed some egregious crime against Birthday Boy.

We don't say good-bye to them.

Instead, we quickly make our exit, so we can laugh about it once we get outside.

The moral of the story is twofold: Never invite more than one of your ex-boyfriends to your bithday party. And all soap operas are obviously written by gay men.

1 comment:

eleka nahmen said...

You obviously haven't realized by now that the only female you should talk to at gay functions is ME. Even if I'm not there.

Oh, and I totally approve of Tall Drink's 'nym. GIHEGNYFONDHTI, while very clever, is so awkward.